Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
