I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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