Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You did what with his pubic hair?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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