Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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