we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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