im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
