I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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