Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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