I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
