Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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