I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
