i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
