I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
