Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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