wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
