I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
