Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
