So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this boner is exhausting
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
