I am puke
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
