so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize