I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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