Me too!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
