Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
