I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
