turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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