We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
