They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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