I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
