Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
