they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My ass is underappreciated
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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