even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
