can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
