Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
