I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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