I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Too much gin, very little bucket
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
