Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
