his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
