Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
