Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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