so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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