Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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