I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
