Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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