Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize