My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
