All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
