ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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