He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
