i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm too high and old for this...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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