i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do vagina's smell?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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