my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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