So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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