I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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