so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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