Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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