just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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