so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
two words...techno handjob
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
